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While some toxic behaviors are more aggressive and easily detectable by most, for example using hurtful language or being physically aggressive, what is dangerous is covertly aggressive behaviors, or toxic acts that are not easily recognizable. One of these methods is through emotional manipulation.
What are toxic behaviors?
Oxford Dictionaries defines the word “toxic” as being synonymous with “poisonous”, “unpleasant,” or “harmful.” Informally, Oxford Dictionaries defines “toxic” when it is describing a person, as “having a very unpleasant personality, especially in the way they like to control and influence other people in a dishonest way." On the other hand, Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word as “extremely harsh, malicious, or harmful."
Toxic relationships are relationships—be it platonic or romantic in nature—that are harmful to oneself or another with malicious intent.
How do I know I’m being emotionally manipulated or emotionally manipulative?
According to the American Psychological Association’s Dictionary, manipulation is defined as a “behavior designed to exploit, control or otherwise influence others to one’s advantage.” Emotionally manipulative people focus on belittling and harming their victim, using a variety or mix of different tactics in order to achieve their own goal or preferred outcome. They intentionally harm or hurt others through their toxic behavior, which makes it different from unintentionally hurting a friend. While the victim’s hurt and own feelings are important, what sets emotionally manipulating apart from different behaviors is the intention behind the act.
Is my friend really manipulative? How can I know?
Emotionally manipulative people usually use a mix of different behaviors or tactics to be able to get what they want. Not all emotionally manipulative people act the same way, although there may be some similarities, if they use the same tactics.
You can learn more about the different tactics of emotional manipulation, here.